Estate agent writes hilarious listing for £19,000 a year parking space blasting ‘head-swivelling’ traffic wardens

AN ESTATE agent has written a hilarious listing for a £19,000 a year multi-storey car park space and blasted wardens.

Fergus Lindsay left people in stitches after reading his Rightmove ad selling the parking space on Albion Street, Glasgow.

The estate agent, from Slater Hogg & Howison, wrote the listing in a bid to attract those "tired of swivel-heading and dancing the parking fandango".

The description reads: "You have to, albeit grudgingly, admire the uncanny efficiency of the traffic warden with their almost supernatural ability to materialise from thin air as if beamed from the Parking Enforcement Deck of the USS Enterprise.

"If you are tired of neck stretching and swivel heading, dancing the parking fandango, misdialling RingGo or searching down the back of your passenger seat for loose change then this secure, gated, undercover and CCTV-observed private parking space is just the solution to your travails.

"Perfectly positioned in Merchant City central this is the prime garage to rest your four-wheeled friend."

He then gave some background insight into his unique writing style as an estate agent.

Fergus said: "I've been doing this for 30 years and over the years you see people do a lot of cutting and pasting.

"I always try and get a slightly different perspective. It's difficult to know what to say about a few square yards of concrete," before adding, "I write ads like this for my own sanity and amusement."

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He then stressed how although his office approach things differently, they try to do the best for their patrons.

"We have an obligation to all of our customers to do the best we can. I know it's not necessarily a fashionable view of agents but that's how we approach things in our office.

"Putting a bit of thought into something as mundane as that reflects that we're doing our best for our clients as well as representing ourselves in the best possible way.

"Whoever buys this will need to pay hard cash as you can't mortgage spaces – they have titles but you can't borrow against them."

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